Sailormoon Zodiac: #12 - Mezame // The Awakening By: Janelle Jimenez (miaka@bishounen.org) Official Webpage: http://www.sailormoon-millennia.net/ [http://bishounen.org/smmillennia/] Whispering a word of goodbye, Nakayama Ameko leapt off the cliff... And into the arms of an Angel. Ameko opened her eyes through her tears, she was floating. Flying above the diamonds below her that were the lights of Tokyo. I must be dead. She looked up and saw the face of the Angel who held her in her arms. She was beautiful, with long white hair and blue eyes. "An Angel..." Ameko murmured through her delerium. Yes, she truly must be dead. -- Floating in the darkness. The feeling of bodylessness and weightlessness. I am dead, right? But if I'm dead, then how can I be thinking like this...and why can I feel cold air? Why can I still feel my arms and legs? "Ameko-chan...wake up..." said a soft and gentle voice. It occured to Ameko that she was lying on something soft and wet--grass with fresh dew upon it. Slowly, she opened her eyes. She found herself straining to adjust her eyes, despite the fact that it was rather dark outside. It were as if she were being forced to stare into a light after having them closed for hours. A figure was hovering above her, this she could tell. She felt the figure gently stroking back her hair. Despite the darkness, Ameko could make out that the girl was dressed in a Sailorfuku. She couldn't tell if she was a Sailor Senshi, a Zodiac Senshi, or neither. "Who.." Ameko began to speak, finding it difficult to find her voice. "Don't talk. You don't have to. You've been through such emotional stress... and you fainted as well." the girl said gently. Fainted? I thought I died. "An angel...I saw an angel...was that a dream?" Ameko murmured. The figure smiled slightly and cocked her head to the side, "That depends on whether or not you believe in angels." * * * * "So, by the time you arrived...the Zodiac Senshi had taken care of the problem?" Rei asked as she hugged her knees. Ami nodded, "Yes, and Sailorleo didn't even taunt us. She just walked off silently. Something dreadful must have happened." "I suppose it's a good thing that we weren't fighting them this time..." Makoto said as she brushed a loose strand of her hair aside. She was sitting on one of the swings in her park, swaying slightly back and forth with her feet. Across from her, a few yards away were Ami and Rei who were seated on a park-bench. Minako was swinging high next to her, "The news said that an unidentified person attacked, but Niko-chan was safe, sleeping in her make-up room." Minako said loudly as she swung back and forth, not all the words in her sentence completely reaching everyone's ears. Rei rolled her eyes slightly, "Ugh, Niko-chan. Why is it that the media only cares about her? What about the hundreds of little girls who could have been hurt?" Rei asked, she really rather hated modern society sometimes. "Besides, ANY of us could sing better than her. The only thing special about her is that she was a model. And how'd she get that contract anyways? She won contest because she had clear skin!" Minako laughed and jumped off the swing, posing Venus-style as she landed perfectly on her feet, "Niko-chan actually sings quite well, but her producers insist on her singing in that idol-girl sort of way for albums." Minako declared, she was quite well versed in the lives of various celebrities. "Besides, Rei-chan, you shouldn't hate Niko-chan because she fulfilled your dreams." Minako added with a wink. "Minako-chan..." Makoto said with disapproval as she shook her head. Rei merely rolled her eyes in response, she was about to open her mouth to change the topic when she felt a slight tap on her foot. Rei put her other leg down and looked below the bench, a little ball had rolled into her heel. She bent over to pick it up when a small hand touched her own. The strangest feeling of warmth. Rei jumped back, slightly startled. That's when she noticed the owner of the hand which had touched her own. A little girl, quite adorable, with large violet eyes and short black hair. She was dressed in a pink dress printed with tiny daisies. "Oh! Aren't you cute!" Minako sighed happily as she gazed at the child, "Why don't you tell your Nee-chan [big sisters] your name?" The girl blinked at Minako for a moment, then turned to Rei and took the ball from her hand wordlessly and ran off. The girl then stopped and turned around, "Thank you, Hino-san." she said before running off. Rei paled, Hino-san? How could that girl have known who she was? There was something about those large violet eyes, something familiar that showed an unbelievable amount of maturity and innocence at the same time. It couldn't be. "Do you...do you suppose that's who I think it is?" she murmured. Minako shielded her eyes from the sun with her hands and stared after the fading figure of the child. "Come to think of it..." Makoto said with a thoughtful expression, "She looked an awful lot like a younger version of..." Ami murmured. Rei nodded as she knew they were all thinking the same thing, "Hotaru..." * * * * * "So, Hotaru-chan's been reborn?" Michiru asked for confirmation. Setsuna, Haruka, and she had been listening intently to Rei's story. Although it seemed impossible to believe at first, they quickly realized that it was not only very possible it happened, but very likely. "Why wouldn't she come to us?" Setsuna asked, her voice sounding pained. "She's just a child, Setsuna. The better question to ask is why didn't Tomoe-san bring her to us?" Haruka asked, feeling more upset than hurt. "Well, from the way you described it, Rei, it seems that Hotaru is perfectly capable of understanding the situations around her. You said the look in her eyes was that of maturity and intelligence." Michiru said, she was always the rational thinker. "It would seem to me that Hotaru's perfectly aware of her past and is chosing to hide from us." "I find that very disturbing." Rei murmured, "To be fully mature mentally and to be trapped in a toddler's body." "Yes, it really is rather frightening when you think about it. It must feel very...imprisoning." Michiru nodded with a slight shiver. "I suppose we should go talk to Tomoe-san and Hotaru. We need Sailorsaturn." Haruka said as she stood up, she reached for the keys which resided deep in her pants pocket. "Do you really think it's necessary to call upon Saturn again for this fight?" Rei asked, she hesitated for a moment, "She seemed so...mentally unstable before. Whose to say that Hotaru was reborn...normal again? She did retain all her memories afterall..." "That's true, but Hotaru knows that as a Sailor Senshi she has a certain duty. Although I do not wish to reawaken the Senshi of Silence, destiny be damned, it must be done." Setsuna said quietly, "It is of the utmost importance that Saturn is awakened. The future depends on it." * * * * * "You know, Jessica-san, you really are a horrible person." Mihana said angrily as she hung up the phone. Tien-Lei was rather surprised to hear this come from Mihana's mouth, Mihana was usually a very peaceful and non-confrontational person. She was usually the very last to speak her mind. She would have expected this sort of thing to come from Joanna first, or even herself...or even more likely, from 'Shikami.' "Well, at least she isn't dead..." Shikami chimed in. "You are both heartless!" Mihana cried, "You broke her will to live! If Tenshi hadn't been there to pull her away from the cliff, she could have killed herself!" "How is it MY fault that Nakayama Ameko was stupid and weak enough to try and committ suicide? I didn't make her mentally unstable, she had her own issues." Jessica snapped, her voice cold and firm. "You know..." Tien-Lei said speaking up, eager to avoid any bloodshed amongst the ranks "It's really, umm, amazing that she was saved. What if Tenshi hadn't been there at that exact time? So, is Ameko...is she well, Mihana?" "Yes, she's been asleep at Tenshi's house all day. Ameko didn't really remember what happened when she woke up, she was rather delerious. Tenshi says that she's recuperating well though." Mihana said, she was trembling with anger. She knew this entire situation was amusing Jessica--giving her a sick power-trip that Mihana knew too well by now and hated dearly. However, she refused to give Jessica any more pleasure than necessary. How does a girl become so hateful, Mihana wondered. She knew there had to be something seriously lacking in Jessica's life, but there was nothing that she could put her finger on. Jessica's parents were loving and doting, and Jessica seemed to share the same love for them in return. Jessica was very popular at school, from what Mihana had heard, but that obviously was not enough to make Jessica happy. She didn't seem interested in boys...or even girls, if that was the case. When one of the many times she was approached by a boy, Mihana saw Jessica become even more cold and distant, a look of shame would fill her eyes--a rare sight to see in regards to Jessica Taylor. Whatever it was that Jessica lacked emotionally, Mihana hoped to god that Jessica would find it soon, lest they all go insane. "Who would have thought..." Tien-Lei murmured, resting her chin on her hand, "It's just wonderful that Tenshi was there at the right time...or...I don't know what we'd be doing right now." "Probably attending a funeral." Shikami replied casually. She ignored the horrified gasps and death-glares and idlly glanced at her fingernails. "You know..." Mihana murmured, trying her best to ignore Shikami. She had already learned that Shikami was not human, at least not in Mihana's mind. She may have been human at one point, but not now. Human beings have emotions and Shikami didn't have those. Thus, she was more like an animal to Mihana than a human-being. "I wonder how Tenshi knew where to go...and how she 'saved' Ameko exactly. Now that I think of it, she couldn't quite get her story straight..." "Tenshi isn't exactly the most stable creature on Earth." Jessica cut in, "You know what we say in the West, 'birds of a feather flock together.'" * * * * * Tenshi gazed down at Ameko who appeared to be resting peacefully. She bit her lip slightly, what will I tell her when she wakes up? she wondered. Tenshi didn't have another second to contemplate the situation, because just then Ameko's eyes fluttered open. "Ten..Tenshi! What am I doing here?!" Ameko asked, sitting up with a start. "You were at that cliff you like to go to. But then you fainted...so I took you to my house...which is where you are now, Ameko.." That's impossible, Ameko thought. Her mind raced to the events the night before. She's lying. I jumped off the cliff...how am I still alive? "Really? I don't recall that." Ameko said, her bright blue eyes narrowing rather suspiciously. Tenshi glanced at Ameko warily. She hesitated before speaking. She can't know the truth...what if she hates me? "You...you just passed out on the cliff you like to stargaze on." Tenshi murmured, reiterating her previous statement. She's lying to me, why is she lying? Ameko thought, she stared at Tenshi with a mixture of anger and hurt. Why would my only friend lie to me? "Do the others know?" Ameko asked, looking down at the bedsheets. "Yes...Ameko, I'm so glad you weren't hurt! I'm so glad I was there to save-- to help you!" Tenshi said as tears filled her eyes and she enveloped Ameko in a protective embrace. Ameko gazed down at Tenshi, her face unemotional--her arms making almost robotic motions to pat and stroke Tenshi's hair. Tenshi, Tenshi...I don't know how you did it, but... I wish you hadn't saved me. * * * * * "Hotaru-chan...your friends are here..." Souichi said from the doorway of Hotaru's bedroom. She seemed deep in thought and he hated to interrupt her, but it seemed important. Souichi sighed heavily as Hotaru was silent. She seemed different now, very focused and determined on something. She didn't seem like the same person anymore. It was only weeks ago when he had found her as a baby, lying in her old crib surrounded with violet light. It had only been days since her rapid growth, now to little more than a toddler. Yet her violet eyes held such maturity and intelligence. Souichi walked over to Hotaru, who was standing on the chair at her desk with a pen clutched in her hands. On a piece of paper was some unintelligeble scribbling. An attempt to write words, perhaps? "Hotaru-chan..." Souichi murmured and placed his hands comfortingly on her small shoulders. She looked up at him, her eyes full of frustration...they seemed to be echoing the words in his head, Why is this happening? "Hotaru-chan, your friends are downstairs waiting for you. They want to talk to you..." Souichi said softly. Hotaru nodded slowly, dropping the pen on her desk and jumping off her chair and onto the carpet. She reached up for her father's hand and together they walked down the stairs to Haruka, Setsuna, and Michiru who were waiting anxiously at the foot of the steps. Michiru's face held a look of pleasant surprise, while Haruka's was serious, Setsuna's even more somber than usual. "Hotaru-chan, we're so happy to see you!" Michiru exclaimed, breaking the tense silence. "Kaiou-san, Tenou-san, Meiou-san--hisashiburi." [note: see below] Hotaru said in an almost emotionless voice. Michiru's face fell in horror, "What are you saying, Hotaru? You're acting like you don't even know us..." Haruka said hoarsely, she too was surprised by Hotaru's greeting, if it could even be called that. "Hotaru-chan, you have duties to fulfill. I want you to live a normal life as much as anyone else, but...we need you." Setsuna said softly, but firmly. Hotaru was silent, she looked down at her tiny hands in frustration. She seemed torn. "If only you knew what it meant I would have to do..." she whispered. Michiru shuddered. To hear those words in such a mature voice coming from such a small child was eerie, unearthly. "Hotaru, what do you mean?" Haruka asked. Hotaru's eyes filled with tears, it was as if she couldn't find the words she wanted to say. "I don't want to do it! I don't want to be Saturn anymore. Stop making me hurt people! You'll regret it this time!" Hotaru cried out and ran back upstairs. "What's wrong with her?" Haruka muttered. "She obviously knows something we do not..." Setsuna murmured. "Why do you assume there must be something wrong with her?" Souichi demanded, "What did you do to her anyway? Why was she reborn? Did you let her die? Don't you see the frustration and anguish she feels? She's trapped in that body--unable to do anything herself, unable to even write down her own thoughts because you let her die. Now you want her to do something unspeakable again, so what, you can sacrifice her again?" Michiru choked back a horrified sob as she covered her hands with her mouth, that guilt she felt washed over her once again. "Wait, wait, wait! We didn't kill Hotaru! We aren't asking her to do anything 'unspeakable'! We just need her to be Sailorsaturn again. The future of the planet depends on it, we're not trying to play games with a little girls life here." Haruka snapped back. "Could it possibly occur to you that she resents you for the life you've forced her to live? What a horrible burden she has upon her shoulders..." "I didn't decide who gets to be a Sailor Senshi, did you think *I* wanted to be one?" Haruka asked coolly. "Hotaru belongs with us, Souichi." Setsuna said calmly, to try and get a grip on the situation. "You know she does. She needs to help us save the world." Souichi laughed and began to walk back up the stairs. "Heh...'save the world'?" he asked as he stopped and turned around momentarily, "Maybe you should heed her warning...you WILL be sorry when Saturn is reawakened." * * * * * Ameko gazed at her reflection. That's not me. Who is this pitiful looking girl staring back at me? Such shining naive eyes with such an innocent face? "I should have died last night." she muttered to herself, raising her hand to touch the face in the looking glass. She could barely remember what happened, all she could see when she closed her eyes was herself surrounded by a million lights--then the face of a beautiful angel. She knew now that it was Tenshi--but HOW? "Why did you save me, Tenshi? To leave me living so I can know how weak and useless I am?" she asked herself. Her reflection stared back at her dully. Ameko suddenly felt very ashamed of herself as the images flashed through her head ceaselessly. This brought upon a wave of hatred and anger, "I HATE YOU!" Ameko screamed to her reflection, throwing her hands forward to claw at its bright eyes. "I'm not you, I'm not you, I'm not you!" she cried, pounding her fists into the glass as tears formed at the corner of her eyes. "No..." she muttered as she immediately stopped her hysteria, "I'm *not* you." Ameko whispered, her bright eyes wild. A small smile spread across her face. "You died last night." she said to her reflection, cocking her head slightly to the side. "You're a ghost. Yes, a ghost. Look how pale and ghastly you are!" she added laughing slightly as she taunted herself. "You died because you were weak and foolish, but I survived. Yes, *I'M* still alive because I'm stronger than you were." she murmured. Another face flashed in Ameko's mind. The sneering face of Jessica Taylor. "That bitch..." Ameko muttered, clenching her fists, "I'll show her exactly how strong I am." * * * * * Michiru sighed as she held her cup of tea in her hands to warm them. "What are we going to do now? We can't force Hotaru to do something she doesn't want to do--she might resent us for it..." she murmured. "There seemed to be something she was genuinely afraid of." Haruka mused as she stared at the bottom of her empty teacup, "Maybe she knows something we don't..." "She's always known things others cannot understand. That's always how the Solider of Saturn has always been." Setsuna nodded in agreement. "She may have been trying to warn us, without being direct." "Well, she did say that we would regret it if we made her become Saturn." Haruka pointed out. Just then the trio heard a knock on the door. They glanced at one another before Haruka stood up to answer the door. The moment she saw who it was, a gasp escaped from her lips. It was Hotaru, but she looked older now, approximately ten years old. How had she aged eight years in only a few hours? "Hotaru!" Haruka exclaimed, Michiru and Setsuna instantly rose to their feet and went to the door. "Please, come inside." she said and gestured to Hotaru. They were all silent as Hotaru removed her shoes in the entry way and followed the trio into the living room. "I came to you because I realize what my duty is. My duty and honor as a Sailor Senshi is more important than my own life..." Hotaru began. In her eyes Michiru could see determination and strength, but also detachment and sadness. Those are the cold eyes of Sailorsaturn, Michiru thought, not the eyes of Hotaru. "Also...I know that I can never be happy with Otou-san [Father] until the world is at peace..." she added. Ah! So, this isn't only Saturn talking, Hotaru is in there as well, Michiru mused. Setsuna stared at Hotaru, her face emotionless, but her mind racing from one thought to the next. Time has sped up for Hotaru, she thought, this must mean she was reborn solely to be Sailorsaturn...she grows with power everytime she is reborn. But with this rebirth comes the mental instability she had just prior to her death. She could destroy us all on a whim. Is this what she was warning us about? Strangely, Hotaru turned her head and smiled at Setsuna. It was enough to make Setsuna's hands shake, it's as if she could hear my thoughts. A wave of violet light washed over Hotaru, who turned her head upwards to bathe in its glow. She began to grow somewhat taller, the youthful features fade into that of a pre-teen. "Hotaru..." Michiru gasped, the scene was both beautiful and horrifying at the same time. What's going on? The light began to fade, but as it did the sign of Saturn began to glow on Hotaru's forehead. Moments later, it too faded away. Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna stared at Hotaru in dead silence, waiting for her to say something, to say anything to ease their fears. Hotaru opened her eyes, those cold eyes of Saturn, her face holding no emotion. "I will save Sailormoon." * * * * * Rei stared down at Usagi. How long had she been watching for the slightest sign of life? A minute? An hour? Every moment seemed to pass by slower than the previous. Just one movement would have eased Rei's soul: a flutter of an eyelash, the slight parting of Usagi's pale lips, anything, but she got nothing. "Rei..." Minako murmured from the doorway as she stepped forward, a new bouquet of flowers in her hands to freshen up the room. No matter how much they tried to distract Rei, she always returned to Usagi's side more morose than ever. "Minako..." Rei sighed as she released Usagi's hand from her own and pulled the blanket over it gently, "Why won't she even move...I know she's alive, why won't she fight?" she asked as tears filled her eyes once again. "Rei, Usagi can't--" "No! But she can!" Rei exclaimed angrily, she glanced at Usagi in frustration, "Why won't she fight for us and come back to us?" "She won't come back to you because she cannot." said a small voice from the doorway. Rei looked over her shoulder in surprise as she wiped away her tears and straightened her back. Standing in the doorway was Setsuna and Hotaru. "Hotaru?" Minako whispered in surprise. Hadn't she just seen Hotaru as barely four years old...and now here she was nearly ten? "Ami-san tells me that Usagi-san has not moved, nor does her heart beat...but yet her brain is still fully active." Hotaru said as she stepped forward. Her mannerisms and coldness made Rei somewhat uncomfortable. "That's right, the doctors are perplexed at this...They want to run tests on her, but we won't let them get near her." Rei replied. "Usagi will become Neo-Queen Serenity in only a few short years. This is one of the many miracles that the people of Earth will be privy to, to prove that she is truly the Earth's Messiah." Setsuna answered knowingly. "Usagi-san's heart is asleep, her mind is asleep..." Hotaru murmured as she stepped forward to Usagi's bedside and stared down upon her. Wordlessly, she reached down and touched Usagi's forehead. A violet aura surrounded Hotaru as the sign of Saturn appeared upon her forehead and her eyes turned to purple light. Usagi's body suddenly lurched forward as a dry scream escaped from her lips, it sounded to all who heard it like the most horrid thing they had heard in their life. A scream full of terror and anguish. "No..." Rei whispered as she stared in horror at Hotaru and Usagi as the aura surrounding them grew even more blinding, "No, stop it! Stop it, Hotaru!" Rei shouted. "Hotaru! What are you doing?!" Setsuna exclaimed, her usual cold demeanor suddenly replaced by one of anxiety. Usagi's bloodcurdling screams grew even louder, "Stop! Please, Hotaru, you're killing her!" Minako exclaimed. Hotaru raised her eyes to Minako, eyes that showed no warmth or feeling. Dull, dead eyes. "You cannot stop me, it must be done." said a voice from low within Hotaru. Minako backed away slowly, "You...What's wrong with you, Hotaru-chan?" Mianko murmured. "It must be done!" Hotaru cried out, shutting her eyes tight as if she too were in immense pain. With one sudden jerk the aura disappeared unceremoniously. Usagi's screams ceased as if someone had pulled the plug on her voice. There was nothing but dead silence and the same uncomfortable darkness that the room was bathed in before. Hotaru collapsed to the ground, panting and coughing. Usagi lay with her eyes wide open, but they didn't blink--nor move. Her mouth was caught wide open in mid-scream. She looked even more ghastly and corpse-like than before. "Usagi!" Rei cried as she scooped Usagi up in her arms and held her tightly and protectively, "What the hell were you thinking?!" she exclaimed to Hotaru. Hotaru looked up at Rei with child-like eyes once again, full of pain and full of tears. "I told you that you'd regret it! I told you I didn't want to!" she cried out and picked herself up, she pushed by the other Senshi who had gathered into the room and ran away. "Hotaru-chan!" Michiru exclaimed and began to chase after her, but Haruka grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. "How could she do something so horrible?" Ami whispered as she brought her hands to her lips and turned her head away slightly. The sight of Usagi was too much to bear. "I don't know..." Setsuna said quietly, "But somehow, I cannot help but think that if the Fates allowed this to happen, then it was meant to happen." | | | | | \|/ Notes: Hotaru says, "Kaiou-san, Tenou-san, Meiou-san--hisashiburi." I didn't want to translate this into english, because I liked how it sounded in Japanese. But since few of the readers know enough Japanese to understand the meanings behind this phrase, I shall explain. :) First, literally translated she said, "Miss Kaiou, Miss Tenou, Miss Meiou-- it's been a long time." But see how stupid and lame that sounds? :P Hotaru's adding of a -san to the names of Haruka, etc. makes it seem very cold--since she's very, very, very close to all of them. Hisashiburi, well, that needs no explaination. I just like how it sounds and it sounds better to me aesthetically than "long time no see"/"it's been awhile"/etc. :)