Sailormoon Neo: #18 - Bridge from IKI to SHI: Morino Ryuu no Nikki - Morino Ryuu's Journal - The Bridge to Part II - By: Janelle Jimenez (miaka@bishounen.org) Official Webpage: http://www.sailormoon-millennia.net/ [http://bishounen.org/smmillennia/] Note: This isn't really an episode, since there's no action. This is a bridge from one part of the fanfic to the next. It also explains how the thing with the ages works in SMNeo. Well, here's the start of this new journal. Mom gave it to me for my birthday. She said I should write some of my thoughts down, since I always look deep in thought lately. Probably because I AM deep in thought, only to be interrupted by people asking me, "What are you thinking?" I wish I had something happy to write about in here, but even on my birthday, can't say it was a very happy. It was my first birthday without HER. My first birthday without Sei-chan to be there and smile at me. I'll never forget the day Neo-Queen Serenity erased her mind. It's something that I can't get over, even if it has been almost four months. Her face held a look of tranquility, but I know that was only to comfort me. I could see it in her eyes, pure sheer terror and fear. I never got to talk to her between the time she died, was reborn, and then had her memory erased...I never got to tell her I love her. I never got to tell her how much I'd miss her. I never got to say goodbye. It's also been four months since Lady 9 posessed Usa-chan and turned her into Queen Rage. Usa-chan doesn't seem to have changed much, I guess the possession didn't do anything permanent to her. Well, except, it's matured her. I remember the girl she used to be almost a year ago, before she became Neo Sailormoon, disgustingly happy and cheerful. Sei-chan really hated her blind happiness. Anyway, Usa-chan's nothing like that anymore. I don't know if it's always been her nature to be a strong leader in hiding, but she's different now. The change is amazing. If there is one good thing about Sei-chan's memory being erased, it's that now she doesn't have to live with that idiot father of hers anymore. He finally got what he wanted--to be with Hotaru-mama. He committed suicide that fateful day four months ago, the same day of Sei-chan's first death. Sei-chan doesn't even know of him, and that's a good thing. I hope he's in Hell, and not with Hotaru. He never deserved a wife like that. So, where does Sei-chan live now? Well, she lives with the Royal Family, if you can believe it. They've raised her to believe that she's Usa-chan's cousin on King Endymion's side. It's a ridiculous story. She's never even been off the Palace grounds, if she did go off, she might learn the truth. She spends her days walking through the gardens. She looks so happy. It kills me to see her, and not be able to talk to her. I'm actually jealous that she can be so content in a life without me, and I can't live in a life without her. I wish I could be that happy again. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could tell her I love her. I miss her voice, her deep eyes staring at me intently. Enough with Sei-chan. It looks like I'm obsessing over her. Anyway, Kasumi and I are friends again. Lately, she's been alot warmer. Actually, I believe she began warming up four months ago. I mean, she's not quite love-everyone type person, but she's warmer. As much as I hate to mention her name again, alot more like Sei-chan used to be. I think it's great, being with Kasumi makes me forget how much I miss Sei-chan. I guess Kasumi forgave me for what I did to her...or maybe Kasumi realizes that no matter how much she tries, she'll always have to settle for second best. That even though I'll never be able to have Sei-chan, I'll always want her. That eventually, I'll settle for Kasumi. It's a really sad way to live life, always having to settle for second best. I feel really sorry for her, but at least she's made a real friend, something I don't think Megami really has, so maybe she's won in true friend race. The girl's name is Hoshino Fuyumi, interesting name, isn't it? She's alot like Kasumi, maybe that's why they're friends. Fuyumi has a sister who's my age, Akimi-san. She reminds me so much of Seishi sometimes it hurts. They look so much alike, but Akimi's hair is lighter. She's so beautiful. The guys at school have been practically killing each other to get to date her. She's smart too, alot like Sei-chan. Akimi is almost as beautiful as Sei-chan...almost, but she's getting attention Sei-chan never got, because Sei-chan didn't conform. What's so wrong with not wanting to be like everyone else? Why does our society want us all to belong to a group? Anyway, Megami and Karei are back to being the normal ultra-popular girls they were before they became Neo Sailor Senshi. It kind of sickens me. Sei-chan used to absolutely hate both of them. I can see why, sort of. Well, Megami I can understand. She lives in a fantasy world like Kasumi said. It's like...although everyone else was saddened by all the deaths caused by Lord 9 and Lady 9, Megami shut herself into this rainbow colored illusion that doesn't exist. I really don't want to be there when it collapses on her. If I were Karei, I'd stay far away from Megami. Karei, however, is a great girl. It makes me wonder why I never talked to her before. She's totally gorgeous, very generous, very spirited...her flaw is that she tends to be a bit shallow. I wonder why on God's name she hangs out with Megami. Usa-chan's 17th birthday is coming up. I should really stop calling her Usa-chan thoough. I should call her Usagi..or Usagi-sama. She IS Princess of the World. Somehow, I don't see her that way. Princess Usagi Lady Serenity. She's going to take on the official last name of 'Tsukino.' I hate to sound old, but I remember when she used to be so little. She was 900 years old like the rest of us, but unlike the rest of us, she still had the body of an 8 year old. By then, all of us had already taken-on our 15/16 year old bodies. Then when she came back from her training in the Past, she had her memory erased..and she magically, it seemed, started to age. In just four years her body caught up with the rest of us...and now she's aging faster than the rest of us. Now she's in the body of a 17 year old. A pretty nice body too, if you ask me. Who else is there to talk about? Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Aiko. That's a terrible thing to say, I know, but it's the truth. Anyway, I haven't heard from her at all. I hear Minako-sama, is doing okay. I guess Aiko's just hiding out. I never knew her very much anyway. She always seemed really aloof to me. Himeko and Yoake talk to me alot. Actually, I talk to them more than I do any of the other former Neo Senshi with the exception of Kasumi. We all sit together at lunch and talk about things. It still annoys me that Megami and Karei don't ever join in with us. It's like they're too good to or something, or at least, Megami thinks so. Actually, I'm glad Megami thinks she's too good to sit with us. I'd shoot myself if I had to listen to her stupid chatter. Lately, Karei's looked incredibly depressed. While Megami is off in lala land about who likes her and what not, Karei stares off sadly into space. She looks really pretty when she's like that. Almost as pretty as Sei-chan. But she's always got this fearful look on her face, in addition to the sadness..and I don't know why. Maybe I should ask her...maybe it has something to do with a predicition. I've been having these really bad feelings lately. I think it has alot to do with Sei-chan. I mean, I feel them every time I see her. I also get bad feelings whenever I see Usako, Usa-chan's daughter. Did I forget to mention her? She appeared one day on the Crystal Palace doorsteps. She's a cute kid, blue eyes that look exactly like Neo-Queen Serenity's mother's eyes (I only know that because I saw a painting of her in that book I stole from the palace archives, her eyes were particularly striking) and black hair in sorta oval shaped odango. But there's something weird about her. She seems to always be giving me death glares, I don't know, whatever. It's been so peaceful lately, as strange as it sounds, that scares me to death. I remember Lady 9's words about when Earth was at peace, we'd all be destroyed. There's something about stillness and peace that scares me. I know peace will bring upon destruction, and that in turn will bring upon the awakening the Senshi of Saturn to bring peace once more...But this time, that peace will be our deaths. Morino Ryuu March 6, 3016